Sunday, November 25, 2012

The Walking Dead Season 3 Liveblog! Episode 7: When the Dead Come Knocking

Good Sunday Evening, everyone!

Clearly with it being Sunday, you've shuffled your internet self over here to have a few drinks, and crunch some chips, and find out all about Walkers, Biters, Lurkers and Creepers with us.

Today's episode is called "When the Dead Come Knocking", and promises to bring us further befuddlement of our favourite settlements at both Unnamed Prison, and Woodbury, Georgia.

Wouldn't you know it though, I'm not particularly aware of any songs out there in the world called "When the Dead Come Knocking". I do suppose that we could write it. Or maybe even that some obscure metal band has already done so and it's not on Youtube. Either way, everyone loves some Johnny Cash.

Close enough, eh? Honourable mention to Knocking on Heaven's Door from Axl and Co.

So what do the sick fucks writers have in store for us this week?

How much longer will Andrea run around with her head in her ass?
How far will the Governor go in questioning Glenn and Maggie?
Will Little Ass-Kicker get a name? Or some of Michonne's formula?
Will Michonne find sanctuary with Rick's gang?

oscar too has risen to a level of respect. it's true. otherwise, why would they even show us this?

Join us over the jump to get the answer to these, and hopefully many more questions.

8:30 - welcome, madames et monsieurs to another installment of Walker/Biter Theatre.  We'll be your hosts for another week.

it has been brought to our attention that a few weeks ago we made a clerical error, and as such have an editorial correction. Please note the following picture.

we have noted that this is not, in fact a poncho, but instead a serape. 

this,  is a poncho



we apologize for any inconvenience.

now grab your snacks, and liquor up, friends. it promises to be a hectic week.

we're still making dinner, here. shrimp po' boy sandwiches. yay us.

8:45 - as we prepare our dinner, and while watching most of the episode, we'll be drinking la fin du monde and mill street stock organic. during talking dead? tea tea tea from david's tea.

what in the hell do you folks drink? always coca-cola?



8:55 - still making these damn shrimp sandwiches. ugh.

what does this mean for you? nothing.
what does it mean for me? kinda of cold dinner.

any way, hang on tight, kids, we're rolling soon!

9:00 - i'm so glad they remind me what happened last week. it's not like we blog it or anything.

hey, man. i want to be a character in their video game, or to win driven by the cast this season?

so any way, really - last week, michonne ran out, maggie and glenn got caught... oh, and fuck merle.

right - and michonne found the group.

9:01 - we start off with merle's stump interrogating a bound glenn.

merle claims he means to harm.

"i lowered my gun, but you raised yours."

merle goes on to tell him he was an asshole out there, just like they were in atlanta.
 merle really hasn't let go of atlanta.
 glenn says they went back for him, rick and daryl and t-dogg

oooh, man. racism! merle calls t-dog a "spear-chucker."  off to a classy start, just like season one!

merle wants to meet up with him and bury the hatchet.
 glenn tells him he didn't make it.

merle leans in,

"well i hope he went slow."

he goes on to ask about his brother, and then gets niiiiiice and creepy about maggie and glenn.
asking about when she gets scared, and how she kisses glenn. all the while, rubbing his knife/stump about him.

"i remember you. you're sneaky one. you don't get scared, do you?"

i don't want to have any conversations about what a mysterious, inscrutable man i am!
you said it, chang.

he keeps stalking around glenn, going on to ask about daryl.

merle gets his knife up in glenn's face.

"now, i want to know where my brother is. where to sheriff is."

glenn fights back and bloodies merle's nose with a pretty sweet headbutt, but merle eventually gets the better of him.

"i want to know now. tell me. where the hell are they?"

ohh, did we mention maggie is next door and can hear everything? no? well, she can.

so she hears merle beating the crap out of glenn as we go to commercial.  did we mention that one of us doesn't actually enjoy human-on-human violence?  why the fuck do we watch this show?

9:07 - were back at the prison, and there are walkers at the fence!

but surprise, also michonne.

her and rick have a stare-down. carl runs up as she notes her shot-up leg.  i must say, and maybe this is just danai gurira adapting to the writers' lack of insight, but michonne is amazing at conveying things without words.  and also at glaring.  sexily and otherwise.

some walkers come at her and are dispelled easily.

carl asks if they should help her, but this is michonne. she's beheading shit all over.

she is getting over run though, and she faints.

it looks bad, but see our macro above....

..walkers are on her, but carl shoots them up.  sometimes carl is actually pretty cool.


rick says, then opens the gate, blasting away.

they put down all the walkers nearby.

carl goes for the formula and discarded backpack.  what a little trooper!  i'll try to be less annoyed by him.

rick's on her (michonne), and i am groooooossed out by the shot of him moving her clothes to check her injuries.  in the moment, it seems way too sexualized, and i can't help but remember he is a law enforcement officer.

"is she bit?" hershel asks.

as a cop, rick correctly identifies her gunshot wound.

9:10 - rick carries michonne in, barking commands.

he claims she's not going to stay in the cellblock.

"who are you?" he asks her.

she goes for her sword.

"we're not going to hurt you, unless you try something stupid first."

"rick," daryl comes in. "who the hell is this?"

rick asks her if she wants to tell them her name.

daryl tells rick to come with him, presumably having looked through her shit.

carl grabs her bag and sword.

michonne catches no breaks.

"the doors are locked, you'll be safe here."

"i didn't ask for your help."

"doesn't matter. you'll be safe here."

rick locks her up and heads up.

9:11 - aww, everyone has a cute carol reunion.
i suppose we care.
i mean, i do like carol.

there's some mcreary shit here, with daryl being a hero, blah blah.


special magic daryl, and sad carol about lori, all while michonne is locked up in another cell.

any way, carl is crying, 'cause everyone's sad about what's happened.

everyone but michonne who looks on angrily.

9:13 - we pan back on the wall of tires, we're at woodbury.

scientist guy, who i can never remember the name of?
yeah, he shows up at the governor's.

'mr.coleman is ready' he tells the governor.

andrea's putting on clothes, 'cause as you might remember she and the gov have some grossness happening.
but i'm not going to lie, that shimmy she does getting back into her pants?


9:14 - back at the prison, rick says he's going to give michonne food and water, but he wants to know why she had formula, and then to send her on her way.

michonne tells them about "the young asian guy, and the pretty girl" (but not the pretty white girl?  writers, you're giving your vanilla selves away again!) to explain the formula, and the sonofabitch that shot her.

rick gets hostile and grabs at her wound.  there's that fucking police brutality we ALL  knew was coming, but dreaded all the same.  so, uh, yay?


she standss up.
daryl's on her with the crossbow.
it's intense, but i enjoy that she's talking.

michonne starts explaining about the settlement, woodbury, the governor, etc.
"a pretty boy.  charming, jim jones type.

rick asks if they could infiltrate.

9:15 - glenn's had the shit kicked out of him, and merle's mouthy about it.

"i'm surprised you lasted this long," merle says to glenn, "so tell me, where y'all been at?"

"it's just a matter of time 'til they come looking, " glenn responds.

"i'll bake a cake, with pink frosting. think they'll like that?"

glenn goes on about how they're hard, rick, shane, dale, jim, andrea, how they're all coming.
he's clearly fucked up on the andrea part.

"we? is that right?" merle asks.


commercial time.

9:20 - back at the prison, hershel (who has plenty of experience with gunshot wounds, and also some pretty great eyebrows) is fixing up michonne while carl looks on, armed.

meanwhile, the group discusses going with michonne after maggie and glenn.
the whole gang is in.

they cut away, and everyone's loading up that toyata. tear gas and flash bombs, weapons and whatnot.

"don't you worry about your old man," daryl tells carl "i'll keep my eye on him."
i like their quasi-sibling relationship that seems to be developing.

michonne asks how they cleared the jail out and beth brings her up to speed on their losses. kind of a nice moment for both of them, who have each had limited lines so far this season.

they cut away and rick and carl are having a moment.

"...what you did for me..." rick starts.

carl asks how long they'll be gone, and says he'll be okay.
rick gives him instructions, but carl says he'll be okay.

"take care of your sister, alright?"

"daryl's been calling her asskicker."

"asskicker, has he now? what do you think we should call her?"

carl decides to name her judith, after his third grade teacher.

this was a nicely shot scene, skeletons of the prison in the background.

"stay safe," daryl tells carol.

"bring 'em back," hershel tells rick.

9:23 - they open up the gates and drive off.

back at woodbury, somebody's listening to records and looking at art?
the scientist?

andrea and the gov bust in on him.

he's feeding an elderly gentleman. perhaps mr coleman?

the governor gets cute with him, and thanks him for doing this great service, then departs. andrea stays behind oddly?

she changes the song on science guy's mark, who starts a bowl ringing with a piece of metal?

"my name is milton," the scientist goes on.

he asks the man to raise his hand when he identifies statements as true.

the man remembers himself, his wife and his children.

he holds milton's hand and the man whispers to him as he leans in.

"what did he say," andrea asks.

"he asked if i could keep it playing while we wait."

9:27 - so we cut back to glenn, obviously duct-taped into a chair from wrist to elbow.

merle brings a walker in, telling glenn that this is how he felt on the roof earlier.

"you're a pretty big snack for him, but you know what they say, he'll be hungry again in an hour."


so glenn's fighting a walker, duct-taped to a chair like drew barrymore in charlie's angels.

far less elegantly, he eventually breaks the chair apart and kills the walker with stumps of chair, then starts screaming. 'cause glenn is crazy hard. he hulked out. i thiiiiik merle is going to regret this, 'cause glenn is fucking awesome.


lol, during the commercials melissa mcbride offers a list of reasons carol's hair never grows. wish i could have actually read it.

9:32 - back with Milton, we learn the purpose of the experiment.

Whether trace memory of human memory exists after the subject passes and turns.

Mr Coleman has prostate cancer and can't be treated, and as he passes they will keep testing for baseline memories.

Milton and he have spent much time together learning about one another, so that they can ascertain the true level of walker conscience.

Andrea claims there's obviously nothing left.  and frankly, she would be pretty invested in that notion, what with having had to shoot amy and all.


"you haven't seen this before... the transformation?"

milton had no family before. he telecommuted to work.  he hasn't seen shit.
he has no idea.

how sheltered are the people of Woodbury?

9:34 - whelp. they're restraining Mr Coleman who has passed, and it's a sombre mood here.

Andrea finishes the last parts for Milton who struggles.

9:35 - Merle brings The Governor up to speed.

They realize Glenn is hard, and this all leads to The Governor going to discuss things with Andrea.

Ahh, the old Good Cop, Bad Cop routine?

wouldn't it be crazy with jim gordon leading this group instead?

9:36 - Maggie's alone, dark room, creaky door, the whole nine when Jackson Lake, the Governor shows up.

nice foley on his boots as he stares her down and walks about.

He strolls behind her and undoes her duct tape binding.

He pulls out a chair and asks if he can sit down.

"We'll take you back to your people and explain that this is all just a misunderstanding. You tell us where they are and we'll drive them back there."

"I want to talk to Glenn."

The Governor says her people are dangerous because of what they did to Merle.

"You tell us where they are, and we'll bring them back here."

Well that changed.

She resists.

"No? Let's try something else," the Governor says. "Stand up please."

Maggie resists.

"Take off your shirt," he says.


"Take off your shirt or I'll bring Glenn's hand in here."

She removes her shirt.
Man, fuck this.

"Go on,"the Governor says.

and she undoes her bra, standing before him topless, covering herself.

He gets up and undoes his belt, then walks towards her.

This is completely called for.


He stands next to her and we can't reeeeally see what's going on, but he starts touching her. Hair first.
Then he slams her face into the table.

"So you want to talk?"

"Do whatever you're going to do, then go hell," she tells him. 

He ponders it, then backs off?

That's two for three for sexual assaults of female characters seen having sex previously on screen here.


And hey, congratulations, The Walking Dead!  And a seeming word of advice to other shows: if you'd like to insulate your work from feminist criticism, just make it extremely painful for women and their allies to watch your show!  Yaaaay!

Large Thumbnail #Wh9jL 


9:44 - we're back.

rick's gang drives down the road.
that must feel weird these days.
anyway, after very little more driving, rick stops the car and they get out.

"they have patrols. we're better off on foot," michonne tells them.

they get out and gear up, walkers in the distance.

i like the sound of cicadas and grasshoppers.

the gang starts walking through the woods.

"i know what you did for me, for my baby, while i was working things out. thank you," rick says to daryl.

"it's what we do," daryl says.

the group comes up upon a pretty serious and sizeable horde within the forest.

Doctor Who (UK) - 05x05 Flesh and Stone (Part 2)

some nice throbby music comes in, and rick tells the group to use no gunfire, then they start killing.
they do their best, but there are faaaar too many.

they make a retreat to a small log cabin.

inside daryl remarks on the smell.

"what is that," oscar asks

"probably a fox, or what's left of one," daryl responds.

they're completely surrounded by walkers in this cabin.

9:47 - rick whistles to daryl.

there's a guy under the covers who really resembles this guy:


"get the hell out of my house!"

he starts freaking out and michonne tells them to quiet him down.

the guy brandishes his gun.

"i'll call the cops!"
who the fuck is he?

"i am a cop," rick tells him.

the guy demands a badge, rick feints going for his and then grabs the guy's gun as he shoots  and that him.
a struggle breaks out, and michonne ends up stabbing the guy as he heads for the door.
he was clearly a little off.

daryl looks out through the cracks in the walls and asks "remember the alamo?"

9:49 - oscar discerns that the rear exit is safe, so they throw crazy dude's body out the door.
oscar grabs this guy's gun and they make a run for it, as zombie walker hands crawl over the dude guy for much longer than seems interesting.

is this supposed to be worse than what happened to maggie?
who was that guy?

how did he not notice the lack of police? or his dead dog? what phone would he use?

commercial, anyway.

9:53 - we're back, and mr.coleman is turning!

sniffing the air, his eyes turning red.
milton runs through the entire gamut of questions as the former mr. coleman does nothing.
milton interprets a finger twitch (or the zombie clutching and grasping, as they sometimes do) as response, and tries to loosen the bindings to prove his hypothesis.
andrea offs the walker as it lunges for milton's face.

milton is sad.

9:55 - well, the governor and merle bring topless maggie in the room with glenn.
doubt this will end well.

"we're through with games," the governor says, putting a gun to glenn's head. "now one of you is going to give up your gang."

maggie tells him.


"how many are you," the governor asks. "that place was overrun."

"ten. we're ten now."

"ten people cleared that prison of biters?"

maggie's freaking out now, and the governor is mock comforting her, basically creeping (kissing her temples, stroking her hair, pulling her close - but she never breaks eye contact with glenn even as she visibly shudders and tears up and i hate this SO MUCH) before tossing her at glenn and taking off.

9:57 - The Governor's men have an emergeny meeting.

They decide either Maggie is lying, or Rick's Group is crazy scary.

Rick's (sample-sized!) group by the way, is on the outer borders.

"your brother might be out there right now, searching for them," the governor tells merle. "blood is blood, right? makes me wonder where your loyalties lie."

merle assures the governor that blah blah i could not give a fuck about either of you.

the governor decides to send a small scout crew to the prison.
whoaaaa. rick's and co are like, 50 feet from andrea on the other side of the gate, and yet nobody knows.

andrea heads inside to meet her sleazy sexual assualty boyfriend the governor, who asks if she had fun with milton.

andrea pours a drink

"what happened?" the governor asks

"mr coleman died," andrea tells him

bear mcreary throb is back. very dubby.

"and did milton find what he was looking for?"

andrea breaks down, and goes to the governor for comfort.

"hey. it's all right," he tells her. comforting her as he 'comforted' maggie before. "it's okay."

whelp, on that we go to commercial.
that episode was full of grossness. but hey, lots of screen time for female characters? only 1/5 of which were sexually assaulted over the course of the episode? that's.... pretty terrible. but hey, otherwise, it was... an episode of the walking dead?

hey, next week looks like a cracker.

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