Sunday, May 20, 2012

game of thrones season two liveblog! episode eight: the prince of winterfell

Well it's Sunday, and you know what that means. Game of Thrones! We're here as usual to bring you this liveblog, and generally have a good time. This week's episode is called "The Prince of Winterfell" so you know it'll have plenty of alfie. Theon. Huzzah!

(...take off that stupid fitted cap.)

(for those of you still curious, alfie allen is lily allen's brother. who'da thunk it?)

what sort of fun is in store tonite? what will happen with jon and the wildlings? king's landing and stannis? winterfell and their 'prince'? i think theon's in a bit of trouble.

grab a snack, pop open a cold one, and join us after the cut for some answers and a bunch more questions.

8:30 - dude. you're really early. settle in and get comfortable though. there's nothing really here yet though, so talk among yourselves as we pour things and eat some sushi. ooh la la.

(it was commonly said einstein had a penchant for earliness...maybe?)

8:45 - aziz isn't really here, but if he were, he'd advise you to get the drinks and food ready. dim the lights too, not for sexy times, but thrones times!


8:55 - there's a small change in the line up tonight as old standby james ready is swapped out for la fin du monde! it only seems fitting.

8:57 - aww, man. turned to the channel early and caught some of life's too short. poo.

9:01 - here we go with the hbo jazz and a recap of last week. this show is a little, well, painful to watch. in its brutality. (and sometimes minor adjustments via adaptation.)

9:05 - we're at winterfell. they're killing all the ravens. it looks like we're picking up right where we left off. more greyjoys are there now, including yara.

9:06 - dinner inside with the greyjoy clan. theon wants credibility.

"which one gave you the tougher fight? the cripple or the six year old?"

yara sees what theon did as bullshit. she's pretty much right. she thinks the stark boys were brave.

"are you the dumbest cunt alive?"

whoa - yara doesn't take shit.

theon doesn't want to seem weak, but apparently he looks weak and stupid. yara is badass.

9:07 - she's there to take theon home.

"father wants a word."

"now that you've decorated your walls with the bodies of the stark boys, every man in the north will want to see you hang," yara tells him.

she's right.

9:08 - yara wants him to come home, and tells him a story about how he was a terrible baby and she wanted to strangle him when he screamed. funny stuff. oooh, sibling love.  she couldn't do it because he smiled at her.  the acting is really fucking great by both of them.

"don't die so far from the sea," she tells him.

9:09 - oooh, jon's been taken to rattleshirt! rattleshirt looks awesome! lord of bones!

9:10 - rattleshirt wants jon killed, but ygritte in her awesomeness convinces the lord of bones that he's a useful bargaining tool.

"what use do i have for a dead man's bastard?"

9:11 - so they take jon in, and surprise! they have qhorin. the rest of the crows are dead.

9:12 - oooh, now it's courting time for talisa and robb.

they discuss parentage, and being a lord while walking with bannerman in a gorgeous setting.

"how can a man be brave when he's afraid?"
"that's the only time a man can be brave, he told me."

wow, ned stark is a quote machine.  also, ha!  that's so the lion king.

simba, being brave doesn't mean you go looking for trouble. (link)

robb wants to go home, he tells talisa, but can't. he needs to defeat the lannisters and achieve justice.

for love and justice! (link)

9:13 - a bannerman appears to bring robb the news about jaime escaping.
but who did this, asked robb?
your mom.

robb is furious!

"tell me this isn't true" he tells catelyn.


"for the cause." she tells him.

she did it to get her children back.

"i have five children, and only one is free."

9:14 - lord karstark is pissed that catelyn has essentially committed treason when he's lost sons too. he wanted the kingslayer dead.

"make sure she's guarded day and night. how many men did we send after the kingslayer?"
"send another forty"

wow, robb is making tough choices.

9:15 - whoa, it's jaime and brienne in the woods. i think they're moving some of this shit up.

"a captive knight deserves to know his captor's name."
"brienne of tarth," she tells him.

he discusses her lineage and banner, then berates her under the guise of getting to know
each other over a long walk.

"has any ever told you you're as boring as you are ugly?"

they have a cute dynamic.  though he is basically a troll.


"do you think you could beat me? in a fight?"

"all my life men like you have sneered at me. and all my life i've knocked men like you into the dust."

9:18 - tywin time! he's discussing yielding to stannis. things are very tense these days. arya is there listening to the discussion and learns of winterfell's seizure.they've decided to head for king's landing leaving gregor behind. with arya!

9:20 - eww, biter is here now, and he's causing some distress for arya. luckily some other shit pulls him away. now we're back to hot pie and gendry. they're discussing recipes. arya needs jaqen. awesome, awesome. jaqen. eventually everyone marches off though.

9:21 - back with jon and qhorin, who's forcing jon to kill him, at least, getting ready to if they're pulling enough from the book. ygritte understands i think.

9:22 - hey look, it's tyrion, and bronn who's awesome and picking his nails.

"do you have to do that here?" tyrion asks him.
"i like to keep my hands clean."
"but do you have to do it here?"

tyrion wants him to wear a goldcloak, but for a dozen reasons he's against it.

"we had a deal, and wearing a goldcloak wasn't part of it."

there's a bit of a rift developing maybe, between the two of them?
tyrion wants him strategizing for stannis' arrival, but he can't pronounce the names of all the authors names in these books he's reading.
(tyrion likes books, you see.)
but bronn can?
...he can read?  interesting!  i wonder if that will come up again later.

9:24 - any way, varys is here with compliments for every one.

bronn tells them both.

"have you ever been in a city that's been in a seige? it's not the fighting that kills the people, it's the famine."

he explains a terrible, terrible scenario.

9:25 - stannis knows king's landing, and that's not good. here we go with another map and strategy amongst the three of them.

9:26 - back with samwell and pip and grenn. they're digging and arguing about whether jon and qhorin will survive.

9:27 - oooh, man. they found a seal of the first men!

holy shit! it's the horn! and dragon glass! gorgeous, gorgeous dragon glass.

this is quite different.

"why did a brother hide it here?"
"because he wanted someone to find it."

9:28 - back to arya, she's being harassed, but owes one more name to pretty, pretty, jaqen h'agar.

"how long after i give you a name will you kill someone?

"a minute? an hour? a day? a month? life is uncertain."

she tries to get him to kill tywin and he declines, so she gives him his own name.

"a girl gives a man his own name?"

then arya tells him to go kill himself.

go, go, gogogogo kill yourself.

she'll give a name though, if he helps her escape. otherwise, the name is his.
arya is awesome.

"if i do this thing, a girl must obey."
"a girl will obey."
"a girl and her friends will meet; walk under the arch at midnight."

9:30 - hey, it's some lannisters, and podrick payne. they're eating some lamprey pie. yummie.
they discuss a young jaime and war some more.

"some men have a place in this. some men don't."

9:32 - cersei tells tyrion that varys is dangerous cause he doesn't have a cock.
tyrion tells cersei joffrey should go to war.

cersei has found a whore, and says she'll claim tyrion was plotting to kill joffrey.

another tour de force between these two actors here. great scene. tyrion is chilling.

9:34 - so it turns out cersei is going to keep tyrion's 'whore' until after the war, and if anything happens to joffrey, she gets killed. evil.

ooh, hey - look! that's not shae. it's roz! surprise!  (especially because there's no chataya OR alayaya!)

great reveal!

9:35 - "i will hurt you for this . the day will come when you think you're happy and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth."

tyrion is pissed.

9:36 - he runs home to shae, who is okay. nice.

"we have to be more careful," he tells her.

"i'll cut off their faces." ooh, shae is cute... and well. we'll leave it there.

9:37 - tyrion wants to own her, and tells her to say she's his. but it doesn't work so well.

9:37 - roose bolton is talking to robb. they're discussing attacking theon. they've gotten no word from ravens they've sent.

"any ironborn with the exception of theon greyjoy. he betrayed me. we will hunt him down wherever he runs."

robb is going to get theon.

oooh, good. talisa's back. robb. this is bad news, bro.

9:41 - there's a lot of morbid flirting, talking about sawing off feet and super sad stories about talisa's brother drowning, and the slaves of volantis. a slave came along and saved her brother's life, you see. so she moved from a slave city as soon as she came of age.
she reveals how slaves in volantis are tattooed and/or branded on the face with whatever discipline in which they are forced, so that one is never forced to speak to them.  pretty fucking brutal.

she's an interesting swerve on jeyne westerling...

"i hope it's a nnice bridge." she tells robb

9:43 - anyway. her hair is out, and they're going to bone now.
way to have too many layers, robb.

way to keep the boots on talisa.
she's laughing too.

it must be hard to live on game of thrones.

9:45 - back to arya et all. jaqen has orchestrated their departure past a crew of impaled guards he killed. jaqen is so cool! so, so, cool!!

9:46 - whelp, here's stannis and davos after a while... they're discussing the onion knight thing.

*wank wank* exposition. blah blah.

"i understand why the older families look down on me."

see, davos dad was a crabber. this is low class? i miss renly.


"i do like dogs, good animals. loyal. but we ate them." poor stannis.
davos showed up though, and saved the day with his smuggling. and still lost his fingers.

"but now i'm the king by every law of westeros, and when i sit on the iron throne, you'll be my hand." nice call, stannis.  davos kneels, but seems conflicted.

9:48 - oooh, joffrey. boo! he's discussing attacking the starks, even though they're under attack soon.

"they say stannis never smiles. i'll give him a red smile. from ear to ear." oooh, joffrey.

9:50 - tyrion wants to call a truce with varys, who is nervous.

"if you want to play, you'll have to start."

he tells varys of how he was made lord of the drains and cisterns when cersei became queen.

"if stannis breaches the gates. the war is over."

9:51 - dany is alive, varys tells tyrion, and then tells him about the dragons.

"one game at a time, my friend." tyrion is so bad ass.

9:52 - oh good, dany is here finally. with jorah. he's found a ship, and thinks they should leave. without the dragons.

"a mother does not leave without her children."

jorah tries to tell her there not her children, but umm, they did suckle at her breast in the books, dudes.

anyway, jorah wants to leave. but dany says hell no.

"if my dragons are in the house of the undying, then take me there."

she's all, "i'm magic too, jorah. who cares about their magic?"

dance, magic, dance!

jorah's too in love with her to care though. and dany is too set on saving her children to go.

9:53 - back at winterfell, theon says they should bury the boys, and the guy who is probably reek or maybe ramsay (whose last name is snow 'cause he's a bolton bastard but i won't refer to him that way because it will likely confuse eeeeeveryone) wants to keep them up.

9:54 - boom! maester luwin sees osha climbing into the crypts with bread. then he goes and sees that the bodies have working legs! ooh, man.

9:55 - "thought this'd be the last place they'd think to look."

"who was that up there, hung up by the gates?"

"must have been the farmers boys."

har har. them little lads are still alive.

"they mustn't hear it from me. the little lads have suffered enough."

well, it's good to have that out in the open, the boys still being alive.

9:57 - well then, that was a pretty good episode. quite a few 'c' bombs though... and hey, let's progress the plot a bit, no? with only two episodes left? there's lots of like, stuff that has to happen, y'know.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...